Wedding Blog


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Hi All! I just wanted to inform you of a blog I started just for our wedding. It’s I started it back when we had over three months to go but I got so busy, trying to finish up my last quarter, that I forgot to update when something new happened. I’m really going to do my best to keep it current since I have more time for it. I’m trying not to be a total “bridezilla” but people have been testing my patience, lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

“What You Need is an Etiquette Lesson”

When people are not mindful of others, it reminds me of an episode of Frasier called “High Crane Drifter” (see video below). In the episode, Frasier and Niles’ favorite coffee shop was very busy and there were no available seats for them to enjoy their premium roast. They stood and waited for a couple of patrons to leave so they could get their table. Frasier was about to sit down and another man had taken his seat. Frasier told the man he saw he and Niles waiting for the other party to leave. The man was rude and refused to give Frasier the seat he was waiting for. Frasier took it upon himself to hoist the man out of the seat and right through the cafe’s front door, all while bellowing, “Maybe what you need is an etiquette lesson.” The episode was funny but I completely understood how Frasier felt. The world is full of discourteous people.


Maybe I’m being sensitive but I absolutely hate when people don’t say ‘excuse me’ or ‘thank you.’ It’s very annoying to have someone try to shimmy through a tight space, and enter your space, without excusing themselves. What’s so hard about being polite? Now, there are a few exceptions that I’ve run across. But it seems that a lot of younger people (18-25) are lacking in the manners department. I’m not sure why but it’s bothersome.

Just say ‘excuse me.’

A Graduation and a Wedding


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Last Thursday was officially my last day as an Undergraduate. I am over the moon! To be honest, since I’ve had so much going on for the past year, I would have been happy with all C’s (shame on me). However, I ended the quarter with a 3.3 GPA. My graduation had not become real to me until the week after midterms. I started to feel anxiety. I think I felt that way because my wedding is the second weekend of May and I want to start working soon. My fiancé has not pressed me about it, though. In fact, he has encouraged me to take advantage of my downtime to do things I have not had the opportunity to do for the last two years. My family has also urged me to do the same. While I am actively seeking employment, I will be productive in other ways.

My last year at university was my most difficult because I lost my grandmother and my uncle, got engaged, completed a full-time internship with American Honda and maintained a full load of classes between 16 and 18 units. I learned a lot about myself and my bad habits. One thing I did have to fix was my time-management. When I was a senior staff writer at my community college, I found out I work well under pressure. This translated into my classes when I transferred. I would know about a term paper from the beginning of the quarter and elect not to work on it until the week it was due. That is a terrible habit but whenever I did papers at the last minute, I did extremely well. Outside of papers, though, I made sure to get my assignments done in advance because I needed to have time for other tasks unrelated to school.

Now, I have about a month and a half to get the rest of my wedding together. I am so excited! I can not wait to start a new chapter in my life. Tackling my Bachelor’s Degree was one thing that I am finally able to check off of my to-do list.


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Women + Body Image


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It boggles my mind, sometimes, how women (and men) have distorted views about their bodies. What many people fail to realize is that “healthy” takes on several different forms. I am in my last year at the university and this quarter, I have a class on gender, race, and class in the media. This course has been so interesting! The professor encourages thinking outside of the box. I find myself learning something new each session.

I had never really dissected advertisements the way we’ve been doing so. I know sex sells, but golly! I never realized how many ads that involve women present them in a way in which they are objectified and sexualized. The ad could have nothing to do with sex, as far as the product goes, but it’s there. For example, the Carl’s Jr. commercials. Need I say more? The women in these ads are usually rail-thin; no one is that small, not even the model. I’m sure I’m just beating a dead horse because this has been discussed throughout the years. And even though it’s been debated over and over, nothing has changed.

Women almost kill themselves to try to meet the media’s interpretation of beauty or a woman’s ideal weight. Super thin does not equate to being healthy. I’m not tiny, nor am I severely overweight and I’m happy with my overall image. I stand at 5’4 and 3/4 (the 3/4 is important!). My weight fluctuates between 120 lbs. and 130 lbs. At my smallest, I was 115 lbs. last year. And my absolute biggest I was 135 lbs. I found it interesting that I was just as happy at my smallest as I was at my heaviest. I have become comfortable with my body type because it’s just that: mine! Once one comes to the realization that everyone is built differently, they’ll truly be happy. Don’t let others dictate to you what you should aspire to look like.


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The Friend Zone


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Everyone has been ushered into the Friend Zone at least once in their life. But some don’t understand why. First, let me break down what the Friend Zone is for those who don’t know. The Friend Zone is a figurative location in which someone you’re interested in places you because they “don’t look at you that way.” Now that we know what it is, let’s discuss what might get you sent there.

It seems that a man will receive a One-Way ticket to the abyss known as the Friend Zone before a woman. No one knows why but a few men have probably mused it’s because they are too much of a gentleman. Now, unless you’re dealing with skip scaps and scallywags, there is no such thing as being too much of a gentleman. In my humble opinion, the majority of people who eat at the Friend Zone table end up there by accident. I’ve sent a guy there because I didn’t know he was into me until waaaaay later. And by the time I found out, I no longer looked at him as a potential mate. You can avoid that by speaking up! If you’re interested in someone, let them know; the worst they can say is “no.” And you just keep it moving.

Don’t let him/her vent to you about their problems with the opposite sex. Once you let them turn you into a living diary, it’s a wrap. That woman will look at you like you’re her gay BFF and you’ll be sipping Malibu Pineapples with her while dictating her texts to another guy.

Another way to get hurled into the F.Z. is by doing something stupid. By doing something stupid, I mean playing games. Two people may genuinely like each other but one person may still want to “explore” their options and put the other person on the back burner, so to speak. That person is not going to wait on you to decide whether or not you want to move forward (at least I hope not). They may decide the F.Z. suits you better. Me, myself? I wouldn’t even want you there. Lol. You’re playing games?! To the Lion’s Pit you go!

I’ve seen some cases in which people have been extracted from the F.Z. You might get your freedom papers to exit. Try to keep hope alive! If not, just keep moving… It’s funny how some men really get shaken up by being drafted to the F.Z. They must not know the male to female ratio is like 1:10. Lol.

Gas Prices Are Ruining My Life


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First off, I just want to say I’m very fortunate to be able to fill my car up each time I go to the gas station. I’m also fortunate to own a car in Southern California of all places. Everyone who is a native of California knows how important a car is here. With that said, let me go ahead and complain.

I know there are several things that influence the cost of fuel but give me a break! I could have sworn gas was just $4.19, last week and now, it’s averaging $4.37 in my area. HOW DID WE GO FROM $4.19 TO $4.37 IN A WEEK??! That’s insane I tell you! I fill up twice a week. I’m glad I don’t drive a luxury car at this point. My Mom does and she’s spending at least $80 each time she fills up. And I’m sure my Dad is feeling it in his 8-cylinder. I just want to drop in the middle of the street and yell “WHY??” Actually, I want to act a fool, like when Carlton thought Lisa killed Will, in the cabin, on “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” and he drug himself across the set (see .gif below).

You know what I could do with the money I’m spending on gas each month? I could buy a round trip plane ticket to Chicago. I could also cater Popeye’s for lunch at my job, for 100 people. Man, that’s easily between 8 and 10 ounces of Virgin Indian hair. I just can’t deal with gas going up. If it gets anywhere near $5, I’m buying a bus pass and I’ll be writing letters to my friends explaining why I can’t make it to Lucky Strike to sip on Cadillac Margaritas and check out the hotties.

The Party Pooper


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You’ll probably think I’m the worst neighbor but I don’t care. Let me tell you a story. Normally, I’m not a party pooper; I like having a good time as much as the next person but not if it’s going to cost me a good night’s rest. One night, in September or October of last year, my neighbors one street over had a party. I didn’t have a problem since I’m not usually asleep until about 1 a.m., anyway. I figured I’d watch a little Discovery ID until I was ready to go to bed. From what I remember, the party started early; around 8:30 or 9 p.m. I went upstairs to lay down and it seemed the music became louder the later it got. I laid down and told myself the party would die down soon, as it was approaching 12:30 a.m. So, I turned “Mrs. Doubtfire” on and tried to chill. 1 a.m. rolled by and I still heard my neighbors’ guests toasting to this and drinking to that over Swizz Beak’s “Money in the Bank”. I told myself, again, it should start fizzling soon. Guess what? It didn’t. And my window of getting EXACTLY six hours of sleep before work was starting to close. Then 1:45 .a.m. showed up. I’ve never done this before but I had to: I Googled the police department’s number. I sure did call and tell them where the party was. They told me they were sending a car over to check it out. Sure enough, twenty minutes later, that music wasn’t even audible and I swear everyone started whispering. That crap was too funny! I ended up with a little less than six hours of sleep but that was alright. I just wish I could have seen my neighbors’ faces when Mr. Law pulled up, LOL! Yeah, I snitched. But I justify my action with the fact I live in the suburbs; it’s supposed to be quiet here.

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Why Is It Hard For Black Women to Compliment Each Other?



I was watching one of my favorite Youtubers, today. Her channel is beauty-based, mainly centered around hair care. And from time to time, she’ll throw up a video on whatever crosses her mind. In this particular video, she was discussing an instance when she walked into a restaurant and overheard two black women talking about her as she walked by. One of the women said that her hair was cute, to the other. And the second woman said that she thought her hair was a lace front. Then she asked why the women couldn’t speak to her. Why couldn’t the woman who liked her hair tell her? She also went on to say that she’s only noticed that type of behavior among black women. Of course not all black women exhibit this behavior but enough do to consider it an issue.

When I thought about it, there’s truth to what she said. I know most of you won’t believe it but if someone’s wearing something I like, or her hair/makeup/whatever looks cute, I’ll tell a woman. I don’t have a problem complimenting others. Compliments often ease the tension in the room. Sometimes paying someone a compliment will help others relax and feel a little more comfortable. I can’t stand when I’m at a function and it feels as if everyone is at odds.

I’m curious, though, why so many black women feel as if they’re in competition with each other. Some, that I’ve seen, even compete with people they call their friends. For what? I never understood the point of that.

If you like what someone has on, why not tell her it’s cute? Her makeup is on point? Let her know.  Complimenting someone doesn’t make you a fan/groupie. And it certainly doesn’t mean that person will think you’re interested in them.Leave all that in high school.

All Weaves Are NOT Evil


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Sheree from “The Real Housewives of Atlanta”

Time and time again, I hear men (mostly Black) complain about women who wear weaves.

“Weaves are hideous.”

“Weaves are false advertising.”

“If you ain’t growing hair on your own, I ain’t looking at you.”

Why so much hatred for the potentially cute head accessory? Well, what I’ve found is some men have had bad experiences with a woman who wore a weave. A friend of mine told me that he went to hug a woman he was dating (didn’t know she had a weave) and one of her tracks scratched his bare chest. He also claims he’d smelled something funny and later found out it was the glue. LMAO! And since then, he’s never dated a woman with faux locks. He said even if he sees a beautiful woman, if she has a weave, he disregards her.

You can’t let one bad apple ruin it for the entire bushel. That would be like me not being able to fit one particular pair of blue jeans and because of that I vow to never buy jeans. It’s silly. Don’t say you don’t like women with weaves, you just don’t like women with BAD weaves. There’s a difference, buddy. I’ve seen some pretty good weaves out there… very natural-looking. Weaves weren’t meant to be deceiving. They were meant to be enjoyable and easy. I enjoyed wearing a weave because it gave my hair a break from all the heat and natural elements. They also help some women’s hair grow because there’s less being done to it. With a weave, all you have to do is get up and go, for the most part. I don’t encourage tacky weaves, though; the ones that make people cringe and whisper when a woman walks past.

Signs of a Bad Weave:

  • natural hair texture and weave texture are mismatched
  • coloring is off
  • you can clearly see where the natural hair stop and the weave begins
  • loose tracks
  • poor quality hair
  • bad smell

Now, I’m no weave connoisseur but I know a few things about what looks good and what doesn’t. Moral of the story: don’t knock it because of a couple bad experiences. Embrace it. If a woman looks good, she looks good. Weave or no weave.

True Life: My Friend Has Ugly Friends


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You know what? The word ‘ugly’ sounds mean. Let’s say her friends are aesthetically challenged. But let’s not discuss her (>.<)

Have you ever been in a situation where a guy/girl you’re trying to get to know wants to go out with friends, he/she asks if you have any and you say you’ll find someone? Then, you hope he/she doesn’t ask whether the friend is cute or not. It really doesn’t matter if he/she is or isn’t; that person doesn’t have to look at them. Plus, everyone’s taste differs. His/her definition of cute may not be the same as yours or their friend’s.

A friend of mine invited me out along with her other friend. He asked her if she had a friend she could bring and she said she would bring me. Then, she asked me for a picture to send him. Is that how the game goes down now? People are really screening tag-alongs? Lol. I thought it was too funny. And in the back of my head, I just knew his friend was going to be a train wreck but much to my surprise he was rather beautiful. That was pure happenstance. It usually doesn’t work that way.

Usually, one of the two parties invited is less attractive or strange, or both. Set ups are definitely not for me because I’m not one for surprises. I won’t complain at all, though. The times I was invited out with a friend and her friend, I acted as if I was having the time of my life. I wouldn’t dare poop on my friend’s party. My tag-a-long experience is pretty limited, though. I’ve only been out as an afterthought a handful of times.